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Warning Signs Or Red Flags Of A Budding Abusive Relationship

Couple not speaking to each other after an argument about problem with alcohol.
There is a lot of psychological manipulation going on when it comes to an abusive relationship. Most of the time, a victim is made to feel that they are overreacting or unappreciative of the efforts of a significant other. They are also made to feel guilty, while a significant other starts to isolate a victim from their friends or family. Through this method, a sort of dependency is created between a victim and an abuser, leading to the feeling of being “trapped” in an abusive relationship.

Before things escalate, it is important to be mindful of the red flags of an abusive relationship. We here at Light of Kimberly made a list to help you assess the relationship you are in:

  1. Very interested or overly interested in you; extremely flattering; putting you on a pedestal.
  2. Overly affectionate; public displays of affection is a bit excessive; may make you feel uncomfortable.
  3. Sex is good, very intensive, maybe the best you ever had; attentive; it’s all about you.
  4. Very protective overly concerned about your safety.
  5. Overly helpful with anything (household projects, problem-solving).
  6. Very generous with gifts and money.
  7. Show up places unannounced to “surprise you.”
  8. Veryin tune with the children, if you have them.
  9. Plays the victim; tells you how other females or other partners have wrong him.
  10. Starts to become dependent on you.
  11. When spending time apart, he begins to express that he is always missing you.
  12. Starts to build you and me against the world mentality.
  13. Begins to criticize friends and family, targets one friend or family member in particular
  14. Accuses friends, family,or co-workers of being jealous of you
  15. Begins questioning you about your whereabouts; (subtlety) “playing concerned.”
  16. Questions you about someone on your phone.
  17. Questions about male co-workers or classmates of the opposite sex.
  18. May playfully accuse you of cheating; you may see signs of jealousy.
  19. Playing mind games; threatening to break up or breaks up with youfor no reason.
  20. Stops speaking to you for no reason; stops returning calls or texts.
  21. Accuses you of not being serious about the relationship.
  22. Denying you affection, attention,or sex.
  23. Starts to complain about exes or your children’s father.
  24. Accuses you of doing things to purposely upset him.
  25. Using the term disrespect: “Why are you disrespecting me,” “Why are you letting so and so disrespect me,” and“I would never let someone disrespect you.”
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